Art Peek, Complete NPC & Creature Roster & Boring Dev Stuff
over 1 year ago – Tue, May 30, 2023 at 07:24:18 AM

 Hello future history mavens,

Exciting times in the Cocurricular Reenactment smithy! The brilliant Cat Evans has completed the dev edit on 8 of the 9 chapters, and those bits are off to the copy editor. They've done a magnificent job wrangling, throttling, refining, and tightening Craig and Brian's 125k-word pile of insanity into a crisp, tight, consistent manuscript, and their classical education and deep familiarity with the source material has resulted in several delightful additions.

Meanwhile, we are besieged by concept illustrations pouring in from the small army of artists under the guidance of our art director David Hoskins.  Here's a look at some (keep in mind, these are concepts only, not final art, which is being created now):

4 of the 10 Character Class Illustrations by Elliot Lang

4 of the 18 Head of Light Entertainment Portraits by Zak Pullen

NPCs & Creatures

Finally, we're spliffingly excited to share the complete roster of NPCs and Creatures. We shared an incomplete list several weeks ago, and your input helped informed how the remaining slots were filled. Keep in mind that just because your favourite character isn't here, it doesn't mean  they aren't in the programme. A great many others appear in quests, and several are Heads of Light Entertainment. Without further ado, here are the NPCs and creatures:

Notable Historical Figures

Here follows a collection of personages for your reenactment purposes–some heroes, some villains, all thoroughly researched and vetted by a symposium of scholars, archaeologists, and theoretical pastiticians. 

• Anne Elk (Miss)
• Anusius Prolapsus, Roman Legate of the Lost Legion
• King Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon of the Castle of Camelot, King of the Britons, Defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of All England
• Arthur Figgis
• Sir Bedevere the Wise
• Bevis the Barber
• The Black Knight
• Brian & Audrey Equator
• King Brian the Wild
• Dennis Moore
• Sister Dingo/Zoot
• Dinsdale Piranha
• Doug Piranha
• Rev. E. P. Nesbitt, aka “The Bishop!”
• Ewan McTeagle
• French Chevrailleur
• Sir Galahad the Pure
• Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and Stig
• Queen Guinevere, Her Royal Highness the Dummy
• Gumby
• Marquis Guy de Lombard
• Kargol the Amazing (and Janet)
• King of the Swamp
• The Lady of the Lake
• Sir Lancelot the Brave
• Brother Maynard
• Merlin
• Prince Charming
• Sir Robin the Not Quite So Brave as Sir Lancelot
• Tim the Enchanter
   

Somewhat Less Notable But Nevertheless Historically Accurate Persons

• Aristocrat
• Barbarian
• Bard
• Bishop
• Brigand
• Bureaucrat
• Druid
• Guard
• Hermit
• Knight
• Legionnaire
• Ne’erdowell
• Peasant
• Soldier
• Sovereign
• Vicar
• Viking
• Witch
   

Creatures Historical, Mythical, and Mundane

• Arthur X
• Atomically Mutated Cat
• Attila the Bun
• The Beast Gladisant Volant
• Black Beast
• Blancmange from the Planet Syron in the Galaxy of Andromeda
• The Devil
• Dragon of Angnor
• Eggs Diamond
• Eric the Half a Bee
• Giant Bearded Snail
• Giant Hand
• The Grim Reaper
• Halluxian Mammoth
• Hansper Hobgoblin
• House Too Dangerous To Live
• Keep Left Signs, Vicious Gang of
• Kevin & Maurice
• Killer Cart
• Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
• Knights Who Say “Ni”
• Man-eating Mundanity
• Ralph the Wonder Llama
• Scott’s Penguin
• Sewer Budgie, Flock of Giant Soiled
• Spike & Harry
• Spiny Norman
• Spot of Deadly Disease
• Three-headed Giant
• Vicious Chicken of Bristol
   

Mundane Beasts

• Aardvark
• Albatross
• Badger
• Bear
• Boar
• Chicken
• Cow
• Crocodile
• Electric Eel
• Horse
• Llama, Standard
• Moose
• Mouse
• Stag
• Sheep, Killer
• Sheep, Standard
• Sheep, Standard Flying
• Wolf
   

Needless to say, things are moving quickly these days. We are chuffed at how it's all coming together, and we hope you are too! All feedback, questions, and comments welcome, but if you have any questions about the pledge manager and/or your order, please reach out to [email protected].

Thank you for your continued enthusiasm. All that positive energy is a great boost as we enter the home stretch. Have a great weekend!

Exalted Funeral & Crowbar Creative

April Update: Preliminary Art Peek, Quests & Fiddly Mechanical Tinkerings
over 1 year ago – Fri, Apr 21, 2023 at 07:45:55 PM

Happy Spring to all! We hope the land around you is once again begreening itself and that your nose isn't asking to be sawn off like mine is. Right! To business...

Sketchy Business

Kyle Patterson, a member of our esteemed and highly paid team of artistical savants (at least they think they are getting paid; we are considering dropping 16 Ton Weights on their heads to reduce overhead) has been churning out preliminary sketches of our Dramatis Personae. Would you like a peek?

 
Hope you like them! If you have mean things to say, please mail them to:
The Cocurricular Reeactment Admonishments Department, Auxiliary Office
Wainscotting
Fourth Hole Along
Buckingham Palace 

Dramatis Personae & Dramatis Monsterae

Thank you for all the excellent feedback on the last update. Your input helped us finalise the list of important persons and non-persons in the Programme. All the writing is done, so now they're each sitting for a portrait. We'll share the final lists in an upcoming update, as this one is already going on rather long and we haven't even gotten to...

Quests

Oh dear, we've gone and mentioned quests. It seems we'll have to report on them. And the report is: They are finished. Ten of them in all--the original two, plus the eight you madpersons unlocked through Stretch Goals. They are written, likely to earn Brian & Craig a flogging for making them too big, and the illustration has begun. Feast thine reading organs on the deeds of derring-do you will be, er, derring-doing!

• The Race to the Grail
• The Sword in the Spam
• Piranhas in the Thames
• Spank the Pope
• The Princess Bridle
• The Challenge of Njorl
• The Blancmange Invasion
• The Tiger of Hounslow
• The Wost Wegion
• King Creosote's Craw(l)

We've grouped them into categories by complexity--Novice, Intermediate, and Expert--so that those with little experience running cocurricular reenactments have a chance or two to get their feet wet, while highly trained educationalists can jump into those with a bit more complexity. And then there's the Creosote thing, which is a dungeon craw(l) inside the poor fellow. We have some smashing descriptions of each that we can share if you like, but this really is the update that never seems to end and we must get to...

Fiddly Mechanical Tinkerings

Brian and Craig have been pounding the game mechanics into shape since you last had a go with them, and things are quite a lot smoother, clearer, more streamlined, and up to 14% sexier than what was in the quick start last year.  Among the changes that have been implemented:

• Streamlined combat.
• Faster character creation.
• Reduced Traits from 21 to 18. Lost nothing gameplay-wise, but reduced overlap and rulesiness.
• Faster equipping of characters.
• A simple (but risky!) way to do healing stuff.
• Easier-to-run NPCs and creatures.
• 3-step shoppe generation: 1. A table for determining what they sell, 2. A table for determining who the proprietor is (including what's interesting and possibly highly inconvenient about them and their wares), 3. A table for determining what they accept as currency (sure, precious metals or gemstones are legal tender in some shoppes, but others may only recognise the value of cheese, an amusing anecdote, or lupins).

As for the rest of it, all the writing is done. We're in the final phase of manuscript tightening while the art is being created.

We'll be back next month with more art, among other things, but, as always, reach out to us at [email protected] if you have any questions about the pledge manager or your order. I'll do my best to keep an eye on responses here and in the comments of the Kickstarter page, but for anything important, please use the address above.

Thank you for your continued enthusiasm. It means a lot to all of us, especially Brian and Craig, who live for the little updates I feed them in their smelly writing dungeon. It's adorable how they think they're getting out some day. 

Nigel


 

March Update: Owl Stretching Time
over 1 year ago – Wed, Mar 22, 2023 at 02:04:30 PM

Most Worthy and Esteemed Near-Future Reenactors,

This month we are pleased to reveal a pleasant pile of vile creatures and dastardly villains that will be featured in the Bestiary/Monsteriary and Dramatis Personae chapters. The list is not complete. We've got slots for 30 of each, but Brian and Craig are idiots and wrote way more than that, so we are working through culling/approvals with the licensor. But here are those that have made the cut. 

Beasts/Monsters

• Atomically Mutated Cat
• Arthur X
• The Black Beast
• Blancmanges from the Planet Skyron
• Dragon of Angnor
• Eggs Diamond
• The Hand of God
• House Too Dangerous To Live
• Kevin & Maurice
• Killer Car(t)
• Killer Rabbit
• Knights Who Say Ni
• Man-eating Mundanity
• Scott's Penguin
• Spiny Norman
• Spot of Deadly Disease
• Three-headed Knight
• Vicious Chicken of Bristol
• Plus "standard" versions of several mundane beasts: deer, birds, wolves, dogs, bears, insects, fish, voles, sheep, lamas, mooses.

Dramatis Personae

• The Amazing Kargol (and Janet)
• Arthur Figgis
• Arthur, Son of Uther Pendragon of the Castle of Camelot, King of the Britons, Defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of All England
• Bevis the Barber
• The Black Knight
• Brother Maynard
• Death
• Dennis Moore
• The Devil
• Dinsdale Piranha
• Doug Piranha
• Guy de Lombard
• King of the Swamp
• The Lady of the Lake
• Anusius Prolapsus
• Rev. E.R. Nesbitt (The Bishop)
• Ricky the Magic Pixie
• Sir Bedevere the Wise
• Sir Galahad the Pure
• Sir Lancelot the Brave
• Sir Robin the Not Quite So Brave as Sir Lancelot
• Tim the Enchanter
• Plus several generic types, like clergypersons, knights, French knights, heathens/barbarians, hermists, witches, outlaws, men-at-arms, peasants, nobles, legionnaires, People's Front of Judea actionaries, vikings, peasants.

If there are any that you would dearly love to have included that aren't on the lists, let us know. We can't promise to accommodate everyone's requests, but if we know that an awful lot of you agree that it simply wouldn't do if [insert dearly loved thing] wasn't included, that will help inform our decision about which of the absurdly long list of entries will make the final cut and which ones we save for a future expansion.

That's about it for this month. Our production pixies are finalising designs for the catapult and other elements. Our artists are artisticulating. Brian and Craig are lovingly chained up in the writing dungeon and beaten with high-quality sausages whenever they stop typing. So all is on-schedule and as it should be. 

If you have any questions or need help with anything, remember that emailing us directly at [email protected] is the best way of ensuring a quick response.

We'll be back next month with another update. Until then, please be sure to kick an Upper-Class twit or two in the rear. If you aren't sure what an Upper-Class twit is, better watch your rear, admiral!

Exalted Funeral Incubator-Jones & Crowbar Creative Brooke-Hamster

February Update: Pre-Illumination & Sundry
over 1 year ago – Fri, Feb 24, 2023 at 04:24:23 PM

Before we sally forth into Spring, here's your monthly update for the month of cabbage. Or mud. Or cleansing. Strange history, the month of February. In fact, the Romans...

Get on with it!

Right. So development and writing continue apace. Among the beasties sporting snappy new designs: the Atomically Mutated Cat, Arthur X, Bastard Hamsters, Eggs Diamond, Houses Too Dangerous To Live, Kevin & Maurice, Man-Eating Mundanities, Sewer Budgies (Flock of Giant Filthy), Spot of Deadly Disease, and the Vicious Chicken of Bristol. 

Meanwhile, our illumination wizard has conjured up more designs for faction paragraphs. Once the sketching is done (and the images below are just preliminary roughs), she'll set to work with brush and paint.

There are still a few backers who have not finished their pledges. If you are one of them, please log into Backerkit.com to make sure you've entered your address and the other steps so we can get you your goods. If you have or have had any trouble with the pledge manager, please reach out to [email protected] and we'll get you sorted. 

We'll be back next month with more updates, but feel free to get in touch with any questions, feedback, or concerns.

Thanks and Happy Cabbage Month (what remains of it anyway),

Exalted Funeral & Crowbar Creative

BackerKit Locking and Charging Next Week
almost 2 years ago – Thu, Feb 16, 2023 at 01:13:28 PM

Hello Everyone! 

BackerKit Pledge Manager will lock and cards will be charged next week. You will receive an email on Monday, February 20th informing you that your order will lock and your card will be charged 48 hours later on Wednesday February 22nd. 

Please take this time to make any adjustments to your order. 

Why are orders locked?

Orders are locked to give us time to finalize production numbers. 

How can I change a locked order?

If you find that you need to make an adjustment to a locked order in the future, no sweat! Just contact our support team at s[email protected] and we can help you. 

What if my card is declined?

If your card is declined, you will get a message from BackerKit asking for you to update your payment method. You will continue to receive notifications until your payment is successfuly processed.  

What about the Pre-order store?

The Pre-Order Store will remain open for the next few months. If you wish to add additional items to a locked order, please contact us to amend your existing order. Pre-order purchases cannot be shipped with existing orders. 

Thank you!

The Team at Exalted Funeral